just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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