I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
