Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize