You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
