That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
