there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
