This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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