The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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