He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
