My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't turn off my feet"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
