Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
