i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
