You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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