Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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