did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My nipple is on Facebook.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
