I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
