What did we do last night that was yellow?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
