i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
