Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
