One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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