absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
