the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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