It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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