I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize