So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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