? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
