More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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