Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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