Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
