My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
