i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
