HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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