I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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