even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
