whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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