he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
