you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
