Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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