i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
