whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
