So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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