2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
