I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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