im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize