if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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