it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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