just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
