That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
