Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
