hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
