I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
