i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
