first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
