Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
