New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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