I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
