just tell him i said nine months
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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