you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
