Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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