I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
