Joe is yelling at the trees again.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
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