I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
why didn't you poke me back
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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